A conversation between a human and an elf
by PinoTheGreat
Summary: A conversation between a young Aragorn and Legolas


**A conversation between a human and an elf**

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, they all belong to J.R.R. Tolkien

Summary: A conversation between a young Aragorn and Legolas

The moon was shining bright above the lands of Imladris and many stars were to be seen. In the distance a young man came walking towards the Last Homely House. He was tired and dirt seemed to feel right at home on his clothes, face and in his hair. It had been a long day for him and most of it he had spent in the forest.

Walking through quiet halls of the house he could feel how tired he actually had become and how badly he wanted his bed. Lost in deep thought the young Aragorn turned around the corner and…

THUD

"OW, watch where you're going!" Legolas said, who apparently was coming around the other side of the corner.

"Well, good night to you too," Aragorn replied while rubbing his forehead. He never thought the elf would have such a hard head.

"I can see you've brought some friends home," Legolas smirked as he looked at the muddy footsteps Aragorn had left behind on the floor of the hall.

Glaring at Legolas he responded. "Female Leggy."

"At least I'm clean all the time," Legolas replied smiling at him.

Now Aragorn also started smiling. "A bit of dirt never killed anyone."

"Yes, a BIT of dirt, not the whole mud pool you bring home all the time," Legolas told him while wondering how one person could attract so much dirt in so little time.

"So I happen to like mud wrestling orcs, big deal," shrugged Aragorn not having a freaking clue what all the fuss was about.

"I don't mind you mud wrestling orcs, but CLEAN YOUSELF AFTERWARDS so I don't find mud everywhere!" Legolas exclaimed getting slightly irritated with the way Aragorn didn't seem to care for personal hygiene AT ALL.

Surprised by the reaction of the elf he replied with a little arrogance in his voice. "At least MY home isn't invested with giant spiders."

"They're not even near the house…but far enough away. And we can take alcohol a lot better then you."

"What's alcohol without getting drunk?"

"Ask your hangover the next morning."

"No pain, no game."

"Though you humans ARE funny when drunk," Legolas smirked at the thought of the party last week, where a very drunk Aragorn had mistaken a plant for the toilet.

Feeling the irritation rise within him Aragorn answered. "Elves are concede cowards."

"No those are the Dwarves."

"Says the elf."

"Knows the elf," said Legolas, surprised by the fact that he used himself in the third person.

"Dwarves don't fear caves."

"We don't hide from danger."

Smirking at Legolas. "No, you're temporarily unavailable for combat purposes."

"But we don't HIDE in caves, and we're not afraid of them. The king of Mirkwood lives in one," Legolas knew this was a desperate attempt, but it was all he could think of at the moment.

"Because he's a piss," Aragorn said hoping to upset the elf.

"With the best wine of all of Middle Earth," Legolas replied, thinking Aragorn would be jealous right now.

"You don't get drunk, so it doesn't matter."

"You might like to know it, since you're the one with the alcohol obsession. And we DO get drunk only not as fast as filthy humans."

"Yeah, you're poor before you're drunk."

"I'd rather not get drunk then."

There was a short pause in which Aragorn and Legolas were glaring at each other, both lost for words and well knowing what would come next. They were going to try to insult each other until one of them gave up. Aragorn feared judging by the persistence of the elf that it would be a long time before he finally would meet his beloved bed. Legolas on the other hand hoped for Aragorn to give up quickly for he wasn't fond of letting a perfect night for his beauty sleep go to waste.

"Prissy elf," Aragorn finally said.

"Filthy human," was Legolas's reply.

"Neat-freak."

"Mud-addict."

"Monkey."

"Donkey."

"_Donkey?"_ Aragorn thought. _"Is that the smartest thing he can come up with? It's time I say something clever"_

"Boring being," was sadly the most clever thing he could think of.

"Alcoholic."

"Squirrelly-hugger."

"Dirt-lover."

"Leaf-eater."

"Walking mud pool."

"Walking manicure."

"Dirt rag on head."

"Braid-fetish."

"Walking scar."

"Tree-hugger."

"_How did he __know my hobby?"_ Legolas thought in fear, as he was always trying to hide this particular hobby of his. "Disease spreader," he continued.

"Dwarf-hater."

"Dwarf-lover."

"Moving soap statue."

"Crapaholic."

"Direction dyslect."

"Overdramatic filth stain."

"Show-off."

"Filthy jealous spot of dirt."

"Arrogant princeling."

"Dirt magnet."

"Warg breath."

"Orc face", and with that comment Legolas quickly went into his room across the hall en locked the door before Aragorn could say anything or, in the worst case, come after him.

Aragorn walked to his room knowing that the conversation would continue tomorrow morning at breakfast.

_A/N: This story was based on an actual conversation that a friend of mine and I had when her internet connection decided to take a nap and __the only way left to communicate was with our cell phones. Of course for fanfiction I had to adjust the conversation so that it wouldn't be like a script mode (as I originally had written it)_


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